Is saving sexy? The frugal factor...

Saving may be making a comeback, but it still hasn’t gotten its sexy back, particularly if you’re a man. (New York Times, 22 August, 2010)

In June, ING Direct, a research company, asked 1,000 people which words would come to mind if someone was fixing them up on a blind date with someone described as frugal.
Just 3.7 percent answered “sexy,” while 15 percent picked “boring” and 27 percent chose “stingy.” And, 49% answered, "smart."

So, how best to broadcast your financial values and seek significant others who share your approach without coming off as a tightwad or a gold digger?

In the olden days, “there was this idea that men were very frugal,” said Ms. Epstein, 33, who posts copies of some of the ads she’s dug up at advertisingforlove.com. “You were going to work hard and save your money, and then by doing so, you would be able to support a wife in comfort. I do see a lot of ads saying ‘I’ve been wrapped up in business all this time and now I can support a wife comfortably.’ ”

These days, EHarmony crunched the numbers on 30 million matches it made in July and found that both men and women were 25 percent more likely to have a potential mate reach out to them if they identified themselves as a saver rather than a spender. Curiously, however, 56 percent of men in the ING Direct survey gave “smart” as their favorite answer while just 42 percent of women did. (The numbers were similarly flipped on stingy: 33 percent of women labeled the potential mate that way, while just 20 percent of men did.)

“My suspicion is that the value of frugality depends on whose money will presumably be spent,” said Reuben Strayer, 34, a physician in Manhattan who does not broadcast his profession or true income in online personals. He always pays for the first date and does not object to providing for a wife one day, he adds; he just doesn’t want to attract the kind of woman who is specifically looking for someone who will do so.
But even if many men still make more money than women and are wary of mates who would want them to spend it, they may not want to advertise it. “Frugality may or may not have anything to do with how much he loves you,” said BJ Gallagher, 61, an experienced online dater and author of several self-help books for women. “But for a lot of women, love looks like ‘Take care of me and give me things.’ ”

Men get rejected more than women in on-line dating!

Check out this information from today's Daily Breeze:

Research into online dating services shows that women are twice as likely as men to specify that they are looking for someone of their own ethnicity...hmmm.

The median age of people using on-line dating services is 42. Men sought women who were 3 years older to 11 years younger. Women sought men who were 2 years older to 5 years younger.

The median number of words in self-descriptions was 106 for men, 118 for women. The median distance considered to be geographically desireable was 28.2 miles.

And men are almost twice as likely to reply to a "wink" as women: 26.4% of men initally contacted by a woman replied vs. 15.9% of women initially contacted by a man. I guess men must get more used to rejection...And it's nice to know that almost 75% of men don't reply to an invitation! I thought it was me!

Men know how to drown...

Okay, check out this video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_VMxDkapN0

"When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats and hand out the life jackets, men keep on their coats."

"The battlefield is man's world...cannon fodder's what they're for."

Man Question #3:How do you feel about this? Is it true? Thank your inner hero today...

Okay, this is the men's restroom at a company with all women executives. Apparently this decor has decidedly brightened the place, turning what is frequently experienced as a quiet private moment into jokes, rauucous good humor, and a little competitive vying for the best spot...

Man Question #3 What is a man's most interesting body part -- on himself? On a woman? Brave enough to ask?

Can Women "Hit on" Men?

I just started reading Screw Cupid by Samantha Scholfield at the suggestion of Vanessa Poster, who is my fellow Mastermind mentor and the author engages in a research project with the question: "Would you think it was weird if a girl hit on you?" posed to men. Lots of men.

Her real life experience -- not research question driven -- was that guys did think it was weird. But, when asked, they responded, "The ladies of the world can have the reins if they want them--I would LOVE to not have to pick up girls anymore. Do you have any idea how hard it is? You're all so mean!"

So, Man Question #2:Would a guy that is interesting to you respond positively to an overture from a woman? Don't know? Ask some.

Manhood For Amateurs

This month we will be reading Michael Chabon's wonderful book, Manhood for Amateurs and exploring the world of men, in all its wonderful complexity and inspiration. For women, this will be an opportunity to explore your own assumptions and beliefs, and tio reignite your relationships with all the men in your life. For men, you will get to acknowledege and appreciate the gifts you bring to all your relationships -- with other guys, as well as the women in your life.

To get us started, here is a quote from Chabon:

"The handy thing about being a father is that the historic standard is so pitifully low. One day a few years back I took my youngest son to the market around the corner from our house in Berkeley, California, a town where, in my estimation, fathers generally do a passable job, with some fathers having been known to go a little overboard. I was holding my twenty-month old in one arm and unloading the shopping cart onto the checkout counter with the other. I don't remember what I was thinking about at the time, but it is as likely to have been the original 1979 jingle for Honey Nut Cheerios or nothing at all as it was the needs, demands, or ineffable wonder of my son."

We will learn more of this story, but to begin:

Man Question #1: What do men think about when they are in line? If you don't know, go ask one.